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The World is Your Lobster

Updated: Dec 16, 2018

Berlin, Germany


We landed in Germany around 9:30 p.m. (over 10 hours later then when we were scheduled to arrive). Much to our surprise (but, at that point of frustration, not really surprising at all) our luggage never came through baggage claim. We were left standing dumbfounded in a practically empty airport. An older German couple was standing near by and I recognized them from the Johannesburg flight (the first offender in this never-ending airport saga).

Part of the Berlin Wall

I asked if they were from the Johannesburg flight and the woman responded that they were. Her English wasn’t great and our German is basically non-existent, but we were able to deduce they had been on all the same flights and had no luggage either. They also didn’t know where any airport staff was or what to do. Finally, a security guard walked by and they talked with him in German. Then he left and they followed. We eventually followed around an hour later when we finally figured out (because there were no signs anywhere) the customer service area was outside the main part of the airport.


When we walked in, the German couple was there and the woman said our bags were lost. We spent the next 45 minutes filling out lost luggage claims and registering in their system. The forms were all in German and while some of it was intuitive like Name and Address, we were really struggling to fill everything in. Between google translate and the helpful staff (whose office had actually closed 10 minutes before we walked in) we got everything filled out. As we were about to leave, one of the employees said she had just received notice that our bags were on their way and should be at our hotel first thing in the morning.


They weren’t.


It is COLD in Berlin and we were already dreading the weather change from Cape Town (high 70s and low 80s) to Berlin (20s and 30s) with the limited amount of warm weather clothing we were able to pack.


Not having our clothes was a serious point of stress. I do always make sure we both have an extra pair of socks and underwear and tooth brushes in our carry on. And (thank goodness) Josh insisted we shove our coats into the carry on, as well. Other than that and a t-shirt or two, we had basically nothing but breakable souvenirs.


When the luggage still wasn’t there in the morning, we left for a free city walking tour thinking we could brave the weather in what we had on (we were supposed to do the walking tour the day before but due to our delay we missed it). We had to stop and buy hats, gloves and a scarf for me almost immediately.

Holocaust Memorial

The tour was enjoyable despite the cold. Our tour guide, Lizzy, was very energetic and we got to see a lot the main historical sites, including check point charlie and one of the – still standing – pieces of the Berlin Wall. One thing we learned from Lizzy that neither of us knew was that the first part of the Berlin Wall was erected in just four hours. The East German leaders wanted to act quickly and not let the people know the wall was going up. The other parts of the wall were pre-fabricated outside the city and brought in to be put up in large sections.


After the tour, instead of going to a museum like we had planned, we had to spend time shopping at this department store called C&A for some long sleeve shirts, sweaters and more undergarments and socks.


I know some people love shopping on vacation, But, we are not those people.

Once we got some warmer clothes, we did have time to visit one museum. Losing an entire day in Berlin really cut into our plans, so Josh and I narrowed down the museums we wanted to see to just one choice each.


Speaking of choices – over the last few days we’ve developed a new decision making process, which we call the Trump System (all puns fully intended). Perhaps because we are both first borns, we both tend to want to be in charge all the time. In normal, everyday life we usually compromise by deferring to whoever cares more about the issue. But when traveling together, its hard to decide who cares more and disagreements about what to do, where to go, where to eat, which way to walk, which train to take and how to get there (you get the point) waste valuable time.


Time was our most precious commodity in Berlin, more so than anywhere else we’ve been, so out of necessity arose the Trump System. Basically, one person (we call him/her the Trump) makes all the decisions UNTIL he or she makes a bad decision. At that point, all decision making authority defaults to the other person and their decisions then “trump” the other person’s decisions. Also, it doesn’t mater if the Trump is best suited or well qualified to make the decisions, when you’re the Trump, you’re the Trump – though you can assign your Trump authority to another agent while still retaining the right to revoke said authority. Once a bad decision is identified, decision making authority immediately changes and the former Trump does not get an opportunity to remedy said bad decision. What constitutes a bad decision is decided by the unanimous agreement of both parties who agree to act in good faith when assessing their own decisions. Intentions are irrelevant and Trump power is reassigned based exclusively on the decision and the resulting outcomes alone. It’s a solid system.


Anywaaaay, we visited the museum Josh was most excited about – The Pergamon Museum. This museum houses the ruins of Pergamon (an ancient Greek – then Roman – city on the coast of modern day Turkey uncovered by German archeologists in the 1800s) and various other collections. Josh was most excited to see the Ishtar Gate – the 8th gate leading into the city of Babylon built in 575 BCE. It was built by King Nebuchadnezzar II and it is the gate that the Israelites walked through when they were exiled in Babylon.


The gate is huge and displayed in a way that lets you view it as if you were actually coming through the pathway approaching the city. Upstairs was an Islamic Art display that featured some items similar to what we viewed in Istanbul in the spring.

Pergamon Alter

After visiting the museum, we returned back to our hotel for a visit to the Spa (you can probably guess who the Trump was during this time). Hotel Spas are my new favorite thing to do. A lot of European hotels have them and you usually only have to pay if you want a specialty treatment like a massage or a facial. If you don’t want that, a lot of times, you can use the other facilities like hot tubs, steam baths, saunas etc. . . at no charge. This was the case for the spa at our hotel and it was the most amazing spa I have ever seen (I went for a tour before breakfast to preemptively check it out). It was huge. There was a pool, a giant jacuzzi hot tub, a rooftop terrance and then another room that had showers, a steam bath room and a sauna room.


I wanted as much spa time as possible, so I left Josh in the room upon a pinky promise that he would join me there later. At the spa, I got a fancy smancy robe and slippers to go over my swim suit. It was a unisex spa and there were a few other men and women milling around the pool and sofas.


After a quick dip in the hot tub, I headed into the other room to look for the sauna and steam rooms. I opened the door to the sauna and much to my surprise there were two – completely – naked men chilling in there. One man kindly cupped his man-bits to shield me from the view. The other did not. I know Europeans tend to be less modest, and I didn’t think nudity bothered me. But, the theory of nudity and the wrinkled reality of strange, hairy male nakedness are two very different things. I just turned around and walked out back to the hot tub.


After a while, two men exited the room and I avoided making eye contact, as I assumed these were the two guys whose junk had been so openly displayed. I also saw this as an opportunity to go use the steam room without my eyes being assaulted again.

WRONG! The men who had left were not the naked men. There must have been two other guys somewhere else in the showers or steam room or something because as soon as I opened the door the two naked guys are just standing there chit-chatting in German and walking around. This time they laughed as I did a 180 and headed for the door.


After the shocking Spa day, we moved on to something very different from anything we’ve ever done while traveling – a pub crawl. We covered this night out pretty extensively on Facebook. But, in short, we are too old for pub crawls and staying out all night. When this one moved on to the seedy part of town, we took our leave a little early,

East Berlin Television Tour

We did get to watch a very clever pick pocket in action. The guy, who appeared to be a sloppy drunk dude stumbling and wheeling a bicycle he was obviously too drunk to ride, plowed his bike right through the middle of our (except for us) rowdy and wasted crowd.


The crowd shuffled around him and he stumbled and grabbed around appearing to be trying to regain his balance. He turned and stumbled off to park his bike. Not even 45 seconds later, after the majority of our group passed by the “drunk” guy straightened up and walked right over the the ATM with a wallet in hand to – I assume – cash advance some money off someone’s credit card. It was shortly after that we (after first checking our valuables) decided to take the U-Bahn back to our hotel and call it a night. We got home around 2 a.m. and vowed never to pub crawl again.

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